Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Christian fantasies

In this post I will write a list of some of the Christian fantasies and why they are bullshit.

The magic god fairy. Christians believe this fairy is real. It's a ridiculous childish fantasy and there's no evidence for it but Christians are 100% certain the fairy exists. They also seem to know quite a bit about it, for example the fairy has unlimited magical powers, it can do anything, it has male sex organs, it looks like a human ape, and it loves us. The whole thing is insane. Magic god fairies couldn't possibly be real because magic is bullshit. It would be like believing the Easter Bunny is real.

Of course the fairy is not necessary. It usually gets invoked to create stuff including solar systems and life. Scientists know this is bullshit. The god of the gaps has run out of hiding places. It's magical powers are not required. We know things these days.

Christians have two ways of solving this problem (their god fairy's magic wand is not necessary). The most deranged Christians (also known as 46% of Americans according to Gallup polls) simply deny scientific facts and then replace those facts with their fairy's magic wand. The slightly less insane Christians, desperate to find a place to hide their god of the gaps, invoke their fairy to invent natural processes, as if gravity and natural selection would not work without a magical inventor. If Christians were able to think they would realize this is ludicrous.

Christians call their fairy "God" with a capital G. As I already wrote they believe their fairy looks like a male human ape. To show their respect for the fairy they call it "Him" or "He" with a capital H.

For some strange reason their fairy loves them. "God loves us." This is the wishful thinking of morons. I have tried to explain to Christians there are trillions and trillions of solar systems, therefore a magical master of the universe is unlikely to notice we are here. Christians refuse to understand. They insist their fairy loves them.

OK, the fairy loves us. How nice. Who cares? Christians care because they expect big favors from their loving fairy. This is where the insanity gets completely out of control. The fairy loves us so much it's going to use its magic wand to magically resurrect dead Christians. The Christians do not become zombies. Instead they magically fly to a magical paradise. Where is this paradise? Nobody knows. What's it like? It's magical. The dead Christians are alive again and they're totally happy all the time. For how long? It doesn't end. Long after the entire universe goes extinct Christians are still enjoying their never ending 2nd life.

But wait. How can Christians say their dead bodies magically fly to a magical heaven when it's obvious the corpses never go anywhere? Not to worry. For every problem there is a magical solution. 

There is a magical thing inside us. Nobody has ever seen it because it's invisible but it exists somewhere in every human ape body. It doesn't do anything until the human ape drops dead. Then it magically exits the dead ape and magically flies to the magical heaven, leaving the stinking corpse behind. Christians call it a soul.

When the magical soul completes its magical journey to the magical heaven it magically becomes the dead ape but now it's alive and eternally healthy. Incredibly, millions of Americans (and Muslim terrorists) believe this bullshit.

Christians believe a human ape, who lived 2,000 years ago, had unlimited magical powers. They call this superman the Magic Jeebus Man. Jeebus is the son of the magical master of the entire universe. The Magic Man in the sky magically sent the magical Jeebus here to magically save Christians from having to be magically tortured for eternity by their loving Magic Man.

The idea is Christians must suck up to the dead Jeebus to make it possible for their magical souls to magically fly to a magical heaven where they magically live again forever. This is of course a ridiculous cowardly fantasy for morons.

What if a person is not insane enough and not retarded enough to suck up to the dead Magic Jeebus Man? Christians gleefully promise those people they will be magically tortured in a magical hell, and getting there is the exact same magical process that gets dead people magically sent to a magical heaven.

There's some more Jeebus bullshit, something about Jeebus getting executed, and then is magically resurrected into a zombie that later magically flies up to the clouds. There's lots more Jeebus magic including magically walking on water and other ridiculous magic tricks.

Religious indoctrination makes these fantasies possible. Thanks to this child abuse most Americans believe the whole thing, especially the heaven bullshit without which Christianity would go extinct.

Christianity is a disease. Most of the infected are incurable. They can't recover from their mental illness because they're fucking retards.

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