Monday, September 12, 2011
A conversation between a theist and a normal person.
In this conversation a normal person explains reality to a theist.
Normal person: It's about time you grew up.
Theist: What are you talking about?
Normal person: I mean you should stop being an idiot.
Theist: You got of lot of nerve.
Normal person: Your theism is a disease. You believe in bullshit.
Theist: Prove it.
Normal person: Why do you think it's my responsibility to disprove your childish fantasies?
Theist: There has to be a god. How else can you explain complicated stuff like the diversity of life and the beginning of the universe?
Normal person: You're invoking supernatural magic for everything you don't understand. That's childish thinking. Also, Darwin and a few thousand other biologists have thoroughly explained the development of species and Stephen Hawking solved your beginning of the universe problem.
Theist: Even if you're right, a god is still necessary to fill in other gaps in human knowledge.
Normal person: You're still being childish. If scientists were as lazy as you human progress would come to a complete stop.
Normal person: Even without the discoveries of 21st century science it would still be ridiculous to pretend there's supernatural magic in the universe.
Theist: The god I worship doesn't use magic. It intelligently designs stuff.
Normal person: Who do you think you're fooling? If your fairy designs stuff and then creates it out of nothing that's a magic trick. Your god is just another word for magic. There's no magic in the universe.
Theist: How can you be sure there's no magic in the universe?
Normal person: What do think reality is, a Harry Potter book? Grow up. There's no magic because magic is impossible.
Theist: How can you be sure magic is impossible? There could be a god with unlimited magical powers.
Normal person: Prove it.
Theist: You're going to hell.
Normal person: Fuck off. You're a waste of time.
Theist: Wait, don't go away. I like to waste people's time. I especially like to waste your time because then I'm pleasing the god I worship.
Normal person: Your mental disease is worse than I thought. Why would you worship this thing?
Theist: If I don't worship god I'll never get into heaven.
Normal person: Are you a terrorist? You sure sound like one.
Theist: No, I'm a Christian.
Normal person: Did you notice your childish magical heaven fantasy makes terrorism possible?
Theist: That's not my fault. That Islam's problem.
Normal person: The terrorists love idiots like you because you make them feel normal.
Normal person: Also, your life after death bullshit has not one shred of evidence. You believe in it anyway, never caring that it's ridiculously impossible and never caring that your fantasy is responsible for thousands of deaths. You believe it because you're terrified of reality.
Theist: I also believe in hell and that's where you're going.
Normal person: You're a morally corrupt asshole and you're insane. You should be wearing a straitjacket in an asylum.