What somebody wrote is satire but it's close to the real thing. I never met a Christian who wasn't a stupid fucking asshole.

The truth is that Jesus loves you but wants to burn you. The truth is that only those who accept Jesus as their Lord, Saviour, and secret lover will get into his secret magical playland. The truth is that I sleep with the light on so I can easily find my pokemon slippers when I need to go to the bathroom. The truth is I will now post my spam rant.

The truth is that death leads to immediate heaven or hell, depending only on whether the person believed in Jesus for eternal life, or not.

The truth is that Jesus loves you and wants to bless your life freely :) Most of all, Jesus wants you with Him forever, and not in hell. The truth is that every belief except one will lead to eternal torment in the lake of fire for every person. Because nothing pays for our sins except the death and blood of Jesus, the sacrifice of Jesus that is already accomplished by Him. Jesus loves you! The truth is that Jesus is God, and Jesus died on the cross to pay for all of our sins in full, and then Jesus resurrected from the dead. Nothing else pays for our sins, not works, not deeds, not religions. So the only way to heaven and to avoid hell is by believing in Jesus for eternal life (John 6:47), without adding any of your own works (Romans 4:5). Believe in Jesus to take you to heaven, and you will be in heaven, no matter what, guaranteed. That easy, thanks to Jesus! Tell Jesus that you thank Him that you will be with Him in heaven when you die because you believe in Jesus! It is too late to be saved, after death.