"Very sorry to see Bloomberg go. His departure came just after Fortune announced he was ranked the ninth-richest billionaire on the planet, which is 706 places higher than Donald Trump. It would have been fun pointing that out several times a day for the entire campaign."

Gail Collins is my favorite New York Times columnist. She wrote about the dozens of Democrats who want to be President of the United States.

I'm also disappointed that Michael Bloomberg decided to not be the next president. He would have been the best president this country ever had. He didn't think he could win the Democratic nomination because there are too many liberal morons who want the job.

If an anti-business liberal asshole wins the nomination we will be stuck with President Fucktard Trump another 4 years which would be a disaster for the entire planet.

This is what Gail Collins wrote. This is not her best stuff. Unfortunately it's a bit stupid.

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The Big Race: It’s Time for a Rhyme

It could be worse than campaigning by verse.

By Gail Collins
Opinion Columnist

March 6, 2019

This article has been updated to reflect news developments.

We now have so many potential candidates for president it’s very difficult to talk about them without whipping out a chart.

But come on, I know you can do it. This week Michael Bloomberg took his name off the list, so we’ve hardly got two dozen.

Very sorry to see Bloomberg go. His departure came just after Fortune announced he was ranked the ninth-richest billionaire on the planet, which is 706 places higher than Donald Trump. It would have been fun pointing that out several times a day for the entire campaign.

But if you’ve got over $55 billion there are probably more fun things to do over the next year than introducing yourself to every person in Iowa. So let’s see if we can master what’s left of the list.

Today we’ll take it easy and consider only the 14 who have actually announced they’re running for the nomination. We will then instantly subtract the spiritual lecturer, the former tech executive and the guy-who-was-once-in-the-House. Great! We’re down to 11.

That includes two newbies, John Hickenlooper, the former governor of Colorado, and Jay Inslee, the governor of Washington. Both of them announced they were running with a lot of focus on the environment — The Times’s Kirk Johnson counted 10 mentions of climate change in Inslee’s 80-second video.

People, how do you feel about this?

A) Climate change is crucial, and you cannot bring it up too much.

B) Climate change is super important, but a little variety is nice.

C) Excuse me, who is Jay Inslee again?

Maybe this little presidential-candidates rhyme will help:

Two governors from the West are super
Inslee’s the one who’s not named Hickenlooper.

Six senators, too, in the presidential pack
Bernie and Elizabeth we know from way back.
Kirsten, Cory and Kamala are hard at work
Amy’s the one who used her comb for a fork.

Let’s pull more hints out of the scabbard
For Hawaii Representative Tulsi Gabbard
Julian Castro is no dud
Even though his best job was secretary of HUD.

We will now quit rhyming before we get to South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg.

No one agrees entirely on how to pronounce his name, but one of the versions the candidate seems to like is “boot-edge-edge.” In Maltese it means “lord of the poultry.”

See how much you’re learning? Wait till you throw that one out at a dinner party.

Buttigieg is the youngest candidate, at 37, and he’d be the first commander in chief under the age of 40.

Buttigieg has been pushing the age issue, arguing that millennials are due for some “intergenerational justice.” It’s getting a lot of traction — do you think Donald Trump (72) has spawned a don’t-trust-anybody-over-70 movement? If so, it’d be a problem for Bernie Sanders (77) and the still-unannounced Joe Biden (76).

Next you’ve got Hickenlooper, 67, and Inslee, 68, as well as Elizabeth Warren, 69. Historically, being a presidential candidate in your 60s has only been a problem for one gender. When Senator Margaret Chase Smith ran for the Republican nomination in 1964, she complained that “almost every news story starts off with ‘the 66-year-old senator.’ I declare I haven’t seen the age played up in the case of men candidates.”

The Los Angeles Times reported her comments in a story headlined “66-Year-Old Sen. Smith Hits Age Talk.”

Also an L.A. Times columnist argued that age was indeed an issue because the ideal age for a presidential candidate was in the late 40s or 50s, and that was when “the female of the species undergoes physical changes and emotional distress of varying severity and duration.”

O.K., this is the end of our age discussion.

Except — wait! What about Hillary Clinton? She’s 71 now, and she hasn’t absolutely totally completely ruled out running again. For everybody else, time is fleeting. We’re talking about a Democratic nominating convention that’s happening in July 2020, but there seems to be a consensus that even waiting for Easter of 2019 is very chancy.

Beto O’Rourke has been promising to make an announcement any second, but the most dramatic thing he’s done lately was to show up for a Metallica concert. It is possible to be too cool to rule.

Almost everybody seems to think Biden will jump in eventually. But really, Mr. Former Vice President, it’s possible to be too coy. This week a CNN focus group made up of six people said they thought you were too old-news. If you can’t win over a six-person focus group, what will you do in Hart’s Location, N.H.?

It’s already March. Time to get into the rhyme.

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips. And here’s our email:letters@nytimes.com.

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Gail Collins is an Op-Ed columnist and a former member of the editorial board, and was the first woman to serve as the Times editorial page editor, from 2001 to 2007.

@GailCollins • Facebook

A version of this article appears in print on March 6, 2019, on Page A23 of the New York edition with the headline: The Big Race: It’s Time for A Rhyme.

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