1852 - 1898

I live in a house in a farm town in Northwestern Illinois. My next-door neighbor has been dead for 121 years. I'm not making this up. I live next to a large ancient cemetery. Almost everyone there dropped dead in the 1800s. My closest neighbor lived from 1852 to 1898. He died when he was 46 years old. Many of my neighbors died at a much younger age.

I like my dead neighbors very much because they never make any noise.

In the center of the graveyard is a huge cross with the Magic Jeebus Man nailed to it. I'm not making this up.

Here we are in the 21st century and most of the people who live in this wonderful town still suck up to the dead Jeebus. For the 12,000 people who live here, we have 32 Christian churches.

Some of our churches have something that's usually called "Sunday School". It's where young victims learn how to be morons.