This is about a Christian retard who thinks everything was magically created by the Magic Man. This means evolution is wrong and the Earth is only 6,000 years old. I'm not making this up. The moron for Jeebus is a Irish politician.

The Irish News

Is Edwin Poots about to take the DUP back to its evangelical roots?

Robert McMillen

17 May, 2021

GO mBEANNAÍ DIA daoibh, a 6,000 year old hello to evolutionists and to creationists alike, you’re all welcome to the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish.

Last Friday, Edwin Poots became ceannaire - leader of the Democratic Unionist Party or an Páirtí Aontachtach Daonlathach as they are unlikely ever to call themselves.

This has caused a lot of WTF-ery amongst what has become known as an scothaicme liobrálach - the liberal elite.

Pootsy beat the urbane Daniel O’Donnell lookalike Jeffrey Donaldson in what commentators saw as a win for the fundamentalist wing of the party.

So if you are having a conversation about Mr Poots in Irish, what words do you need?

Well first and foremost, is Críostaí soiscéalach é - he is an evangelical Christian and is ball den Eaglais Shaor-Phreispitéireach é - he is a member of the Free Presbyterian church which was founded by the late Rev. Ian Paisley 70 years ago this year.

Poots is more guided by an Sean-Tiomna - the Old Testament than the Guardian in his political views.

In listening to the always excellent Sunday Sequence programme on Radio Ulster, the Rev Prof Lawrence Kirkpatrick explained that evangelicals interpret the Bible literally. They believe in Gairdín Pharthais - the Garden of Eden and the talking snake.

“Do you believe in Noah’s universal flood? “Do you believe the sun stood still for Joshua for a period of 24 hours so that he could finish a battle?”

For evangelicals, the answer to the above questions would be “I sure do.”

Much has been made of Mr Poots’ cruthaíochtachas - creationism.

Séanann sé an fhianaise eolaíoch - he denies the scientific evidence that the earth we inhabit but Ed didn’t come up the Lagan in a bubble. Evangelical Christians make up approximately 25% of the U.S. population.

Kirkpatrick also recalled being told that Belfast has more hallaí misin - mission halls and tithe pobail - churches per square mile than anywhere else on the planet which gives you an idea of how all-pervasive religion has been here.

There are MLAs who believe in neamhearráideacht an Bhíobla - biblical inerrancy ie everything in it is a fact, and that you can formulate any piece of legislation based on its teachings.

Sadly, níl Acht Gaeilge luaite sa dea-leabhar - an Irish language act isn’t mentioned in the good book, but then again, neither is the Carrier Bags Act, the Pavement Café Act or the Sunbeds Act which are amongst the NI Executive’s greatest hits.

God sent a global flood in order to reboot life on earth, say the creationists, one which drowned “billions” of people on the planet.

The problem for Mr Poots is that society is less religious today than it was with the whole of Ireland becoming much more tuata - secular.

So it will be interesting to see how his creationism fares against the Northern Ireland Protocol and the wide boys of the current Conservative government.