"I believe there is something more, I believe my existence can go beyond death, But I can't completely convince myself on everything."
If something requires "belief" or "faith" then you can be 100% certain it's nonsense.
There is nothing "beyond death". Dead people don't go anywhere after they drop dead because they are dead.
We have something called "reality". Reality has the advantage of being real.
Your "beyond death" fantasy is not reality.
A nice thing about reality is it's never going to go anywhere. It can't be thrown out.
"I do want there to be a god and an afterlife, It's my strongest want, I don't want to be nothing forever at my point of death."
You can throw out your "strongest want" right now. Reality doesn't care what you want.
I thank goodness dead people stay dead. I would not want to live in a universe that was infested with supernatural magic.
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