The Magic Jeebus Man

Here in Idiot America where I live we have millions of Christian fucktards who think the Magic Jeebus Man was the son of the Magic Man. I'm not making this up.

Some obvious facts:

Jeebus (if he was real and not invented) was an uneducated moron. He was a preacher because he was too lazy to get a real job. He knew nothing about evolution. He thought the Earth is flat and all creatures were magically created by the Magic Man. Jeebus was insane and Jeebus was an asshole.

According to the Christian fucktards, Jeebus was a magician. He performed magic tricks, for example magically walking on water and magically making wine. Jeebus was a wino.

His most famous magic trick according to the gullible morons in Idiot America: After Jeebus was executed for being an asshole, and after decomposing for 3 days, he magically "rose from the dead" and became a zombie.

After proving he was still alive (imagine the smell), the Magic Jeebus Man magically flew to the clouds to be with the Magic Man (his father according to Christian fucktards).

I'm not making any of this bullshit up. Christians believe the whole thing, especially the zombie bullshit. Their entire cult completely depends on the magical resurrection fantasy. Christians have to believe zombies are real.