I asked Christian retards this question: Why do Christians believe in the magical resurrection of the Magic Jesus Man even though that's impossible?

"Why do Christians believe in the magical resurrection of the Magic Jesus Man even though that's impossible? I understand the resurrection is in the New Testament and there were 500 witnesses but still it's impossible."

There were two excellent answers:

There is a significant amount of evidence in the bible itself that shows Jesus survived his relatively gentle crucifixion with the help of fast thinking Nicodemus and J.Aramithea.

In all 3 gospels, Jesus is clearly not in shock. Patient is coherent, able to walk and speak, and is situationally aware. Also, no signs of suffocation on cross - is able to make lengthy orations well into the evening. Showed no signs of confusion. Was not irritable or combative. Thus, blood loss is very minimal - surface lesions only. A class 1 hemorrhage at most.

Soldier did not break legs - survival rate guaranteed. Can live for 7 more days in this condition. Even Pilate knows this for he is surprised to hear that he is ''dead so soon''. So surprised that he sends a sentry to confirm as he is in total disbelief.

The flowage of blood from the wound - a sign the body is still alive - it is not yet dead. Also flowage of water - most likely urine from stabbing the kidney - another sign that the nervous system is still intact. In quick succession, Aramithea pleads with Pilate for Jesus's body shortly after losing consciousness and moves him briskly to a tomb upon which we see Nicodemus arrive to treat the body with a peculiar mix of myrrh and aloe - a salve that stops mortal bleeding. But thats not all that was peculiar - the sheer amount of it was extraordinary - about 100 pounds was used. And he did it during the night of the Sabbath when no work was to be performed. John 19:39. The only work allowed on the sabbath was saving a person's life (pikuach nefesh).

After his resuscitation, we see Mary not recognizing him - most likely from all the bandages and edema (swelling of body tissues after trauma). She also mistakes him for a lowly garden caretaker which suggests he was clothed in something that hid his face and injuries like a hooded lacerna or paenula. And then we see Jesus in hiding as he walks incognito to Emmaus alongside Cloepas who is unaware of the "stranger's" identity and appears to be spotted for very brief moments in spurious locations by some disciples. When he finally does visit, doors and windows are shut out of fear and trepidation rather than rejoicing. In Luke 24:39, he tells the stunned apostles that he is not a ghost but is a real human with flesh and bones. He then tells them he is hungry and promptly asks for food upon which he is given some leftovers. Luke 24:41-43.

This clandestine-like activity recorded in the gospels is typical of a fugitive who is attempting to evade recapture.

His actual survival of crucifixion - unheard of in 1st century Rome - became the basis for the legend celebrated on Easter and influenced a great deal of people - one in particular named Paul of Tarsus who may have actually met Jesus in person on the road to Damascus - complete with holes in both hands and feet and a large gaping scar under his ribs.

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The RESURRECTION JOKE:

1) BuyBull-god creates his human son ---- so that son can be tortured and murdered on our behalf, so that all humankind might be forgiven for all their sins…
2) This is AFTER BuyBull-god HIMSELF gave all of mankind original sin (THAT WE ARE BORN WITH) back in the Adam and Eve days, AND
3) For all the sinning mankind does as mankind reacts and interacts with EVIL which was placed here on earth to influence mankind by….whom? (drum-roll, please…) BuyBull-god himself, once again…
4) So – we sin automatically due to BuyBull-god’s original sin and the EVIL he placed here to interact with us – and being an All-Knowing god of All Time, he already knew that we would succumb to these factors that he himself created and placed inside us.
5) So, he blames us for that, and then, does this resurrection nonsense – where his human son must be tortured and murdered for us to be forgiven for all the things he created within us.

ONLY IN THE SLOWLY ROTTING BRAIN of a BELIEVER can this make sense!!

To make the Resurrection Joke an even BIGGER joke, you have THIS PARADOX – the myth of Sacrifice.

1) What? SACRIFICE?? Since when is a murder victim actively sacrificing himself if others are murdering him? Others are actively killing him, how is this an act of self-sacrifice? If someone came to you, grabbed you by force, nailed you to a cross and killed you, how is that an act of you Sacrificing Yourself for mankind? You can’t have it both ways…

2) It is NOT a SACRIFICE if you die and go right to a GREAT reward of eternal bliss in heaven with Daddy. That isn’t a sacrifice – living a life of near famine, fighting for scant food every day, living in caves or dirt floor huts, wiping your butt with your own hands every time you crap and hoping you can find water somewhere to wash with, no medicine, surgery, pain medication or anesthesia, or any knowledge of germs or what causes disease, no clean clothes or regular bathing – everyone stinks to the hilt with their sour body stench…life in those days was no picnic. It was usually very horrible. So, leaving that for heavenly, eternal bliss – this was called SACRIFICE? Are you kidding me?

How STUPID to people need to be to A) never question this stuff, and B) simply believe it and accept it without ever giving it a thought – and I mean REAL thought, not the kind of thought you need to give in order to justify it – the kind of critical thought that allows you to see it for what it is: a poorly written, poorly designed story, full of holes, that doesn’t hold water, and doesn’t survive any common sense consideration.

A complete Fatal Flaw in Logic and Premise.

"and there were 500 witnesses"

NO. NO. NO.

A cult book making a claim that 500 people were standing around watching some crap like this is MEANINGLESS.
It's a goddam CULT BOOK. Even its account of christ's birth is FRAUD.
criminy, people... get real, here!

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This is one of many moronic answers:

Mat 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.